The Jungle Cruise is Fun!

 Here are some of what is said on the boat ride.

As we get on the boat: 

Don’t worry if it’s crowded now… there’ll be lots of room on the way back.  How many of you are on the Jungle Cruise for the first time? Good! So am I.

Let’s get one thing straight… if we start to sink, the captain will be going down with the boat. I’d like you to meet your new captain (looking at nearby guest)… What did you say your name was?

On the ride:

Now, let’s everyone turn around and wave good-bye to those people on the dock we’ve left behind. (In low voice) Come on folks… pretend like you’re having a good time.

OK… before we go much further, everyone raise your right hand and repeat after me. “I hope…. we do return.” Good! Better turn and take one last look at the dock- you may never see it again!

Before I came to the Jungle, I worked in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn’t concentrate. My boss almost beat the pulp out of me…

As we finish up the ride:

You know, many times people ask me how many people work at Disneyland. (Counting the visible cast members) Hmmm, I’d say about one out of seven!

As we approach, please notice that there’s a dock on the left, and a dock on the right. But don’t let it confuse you. It’s a paradox.

Make sure you have all personal belongings with you… cameras, purses, small children… anything left on board will be thrown screaming to the crocodiles.